This is not home | Olakitan Aladesuyi

This is not home Adekitan Aladesuyi Agbowo Art African Literary Art

How do you find home if it never was?

Home.

it seats easy on the tongue

maybe that’s why it doesn’t seat here

maybe home was meant for pliable spaces.

 

I was ten when I first heard the word tomboy

this one is a tomboy o, look at how she’s walking

Tomboy.

it sounds like a cross between

neither here nor there

maybe that’s why it seats better.

 

mother says home is not a place, it’s a feeling

I know rejection, guilt, fear, anxiety

this is how I know I’m home

an unwanted guest in my own body.

 

have faith they say

if you speak it you will receive it

but how do you wrap your tongue around

a name you do not know?

it’s not a rod between the legs

it’s not gentle curves in imperfect places

it’s a word stuck between pages.

 

tired of searching for space in closed books,

I whisper a prayer to the builder, take me home.

take me somewhere, anywhere but here,

take me home.

how much for the winds to carry me home?

should I stop at the first cut or the second,

or after I cannot lift the blade anymore?

how deep should I cut

before home finds a place in this story?

 


Olakitan Aladesuyi Agbowo Art African Literary ArtOlakitan is a Nigerian writer of short stories, poetry and drama. Her writing is mostly influenced by occurrences around her and her belief in the power of stories.

She has been published online through African writer, Poetica magazine and others.


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