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Self portrait as spring | Chinedu Gospel

Self portrait as spring | Chinedu Gospel

Self portrait as spring | Chinedu Gospel | Agbowo Art | African Literary art

He turns the wilderness into a standing water, and dry ground into springs.                                                                                           –  Psalms 107:35

most of the time      clean water cascades
from my eyes   & it is not what you think.
in my throat,       psalms melt into water
as if to say,    look, gospel is a blue spring.
& perhaps,     this is just another way to 
conform with the image of God.  all my life,
i have searched for the perfect miracle &
in this poem, he turns the wilderness into
a standing water  — blue me into the yolk
of a blue easter egg. a camouflaging. another
weird way to stay alive.     i wear beauties that
are not mine.    & it feels like healing.    it feels 
like frosts gilding my scars through the winter.       
i look out of the window on nights like this,     
grope with my hands across the sky.  in search of 
a color that will reveal me   but the moon melts 
into darkness. now do you see that i am still me?       
a rifle aiming at the wrong bird. say, a scarlet macaw  
cladded in rainbow ribbons, or anything that 
resembles light.  to make it bleed.  until a pool 
of ecstasy clots beneath my feet. all i am saying
is this: my eyes can barely hold beauty. i mean, 
in the dark,  i cry so much misery. so much memories.
&  that was how i began this poem. 
most of the time,            clean water cascades 
from my eyes          & you mistake it for spring.

Chinedu Gospel

Chinedu Gospel, Frontier IV, is an emerging Nigerian poet. He writes from Anambra where he also studies. He is the moderator of audio poetry at Threposs poetry community. He won an honourable mention in the Kreative Diadem annual writing contest 2021 (poetry category). He also won the StarLit Award for the winter issue 2021 of Aster Lit. He has seen his works published in Claw & Blossom, Rough cut press, Walled city Journal, Poetry column NND, Midway journal, Rigorous magazine, Feral poetry, Afro Lit Mag & elsewhere. He plays chess / reads poetry when he’s not working. Say hi on twitter @gonspoetry & IG @gospelsofpoetry

Photo by Mayank Dhanawade on Unsplash

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